The years seem to go quicker and quicker the older I get. And at times, the moments are hard to hold on to. People sometimes ask me if I get homesick, and I always answer "No." There are, of course, things I miss -- people, places, family -- but I remind myself why I left. I was looking for something different, seeking something outside of what I had come to know and understand. And it's true, "home" is forever there for me to go back to, if I want it.
I will say, there are specific times of my life that I ache for. Like, for example, I deeply miss the nights I spent by myself or with dear friends going out to see shows, flying around Minneapolis on my bike and staying out late most nights. I miss the energy I somehow had back then, an anxious energy that drove me to go do. I miss my closest friends, who are now scattered across the country. And I am sad to not know their lives as much as I did back then. It is hard to hold those memories and balance them with the present, which is so very different. I am a sentimental person, something I get from my dad I think. Fortunately, I don't hang on to a lot of physical stuff, but I definitely dwell in my memories. Don't get me wrong, the present is great, I can't complain. And the future looks pretty swell too! But I would say I am homesick for the past, mostly, not home.
I think New Years can be so difficult for some people because it forces reflection on the past year. And, if you are like me, you may find yourself going back a bit further than you really want to. 2015 was overwhelming, and hard in so many ways, but I can feel myself growing and becoming such a... *gulp... adult. Weird. I'm obviously not perfect, but I'm trying really fucking hard, and I have to remind myself that's all most of us are doing. So, while I may tend to expect a lot at times, of myself and life, I am slowly learning to loosen up. I think the West Coast is helping me reach maximum chill. Here are some fun pictures below from the Columbia Center Tower and downtown Seattle area.